The girl that defended the faggot (Im not lying) that assaulted me in 2020 just sent me a friend request on Facebook. girl.
Not only is that objectively crazy but I forgot she existed until just now. The last time we spoke she was harassing me so deep in the IG DM calling me foul things. Not even accusing me of lying though so I guess maybe deep down she always knew that she was tapped and her roommate liked mounting people without consent. Ironically she looks a lot like a recent side character in the bullshit of my life. It's all kind of funny I guess.
At this point I have nothing to do but hope that the universe will do what it needs to. Not to exclude myself- I definitely have done some foul shit and I hope that if the recent bullshit isn't my payback that something else hits me later. But for now, I am so sick and tired of throwing blind faith for good. Maybe if I just sit back and let bullshit do its thing I will calm tf down.
I'm currently at my family's house. Feeling a whole lot like Kevin McCallister. All I need now is to turn 24 and start doing meth. As long as I make it out alive and marry Brenda Song it will all be okay.
I fear I may have developed a mild dog allergy since moving out 5 years ago. My eyes are so damn itchy I can't even wear my contacts.
calling it God's plan and moving on.
If I have learned anything in my time in the cornfields- it is that people out here do not fuck with my vibe. and thats okay. Im just a sweet blonde girl but I think my attitude throws them off when I don't give a fuck how their Sunday afternoon is going when they are checking me out at the Sephora inside the Kohls. And thats also okay. Unless Im an ass and I just cant see past it. Hm... something to think about for the future. But its like bro I'm sorry when your 2009 Snooki poof is deflating and ur eyelash extensions look bulletproof I feel like I can already guess how your Sunday is going. And why the fuck would I care? I'm just trying to buy some fucking mascara.
Ive definitely been tainted by living cities and become a bit of an asshole but I just don’t believe that I need to make a friend out of a stranger or cashier every time I go outside.
Maybe I'll get over it. Maybe I wont- y'all will be the first to find out.
Its a few days later- Im back in Chicago and feeling incredibly refreshed from my time in the corn. I tend to forget how healing isolation can be. Feeling awesome. I have exciting things coming and I literally have two jobs. There is no time to be waste being pissed.
Sometimes being the hyper independent 21 year old girl who has a degree is not so bad. I'm flexing but no I'm not- my degree came in the mail and not to sound sappy or anything but I cant help but think about 16 year old me who was so unafraid of the next four years. I do everything for her LOL. She would not believe that me at 21 exists- let alone like this... and I just know she would be doing backflips if she could see me. So maybe the universe is doing its thing and the evilness of the past 2 months will pass. To be frank- I cant remember the months of August or September ever being happy times for me. Historically bad. March too- March is never good.
On a whole other note- Ive been thinking a lot about the affects of YA Dystopian novels on (trigger warning) Gen Zers. I think it would be too fucking weird to add those thoughts into this post so Im gonna have to make that a separate one.
Stay Awesome
-Trying to Love Life
FAME
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