Im trying very hard to enjoy the upcoming cold season. Typically I would use this as an opportunity to indulge in media to conjure up the feelings of fall. Im not sure if its working too well yet because I skipped Vampire Diaries and Gilmore Girls and went straight to The Shining. Which I guess technically takes place in the fall but Id rather treat it as a winter movie based on color palette. I also find the winter to be generally more horrifying than anything in the fall both IRL and in the media.
Its not all doom and gloom though because I have developed this fun new issue of projectile vomitting against my will every time I brush my teeth so theres that. super sexy right? #bejealous The other day I stayed up until 5 am vomitting so hard that my throat swelled up and I had to suck on ice chips like a hospice patient. Don’t worry- I took a video. Also if any queers out there try to diagnose me with some shit even remotely close to an eating disorder respectfully fuck off with it all. Ive had faggots trying to tell me I'm mentally ill for 5 years now, Im good on it- I got doctors for that. Go back to knitting you sick fucks. also I know DAMN WELL Im a little crazy, like cmon now- I wouldn't be saying this shit on the internet if I was normal. Be fucking real with yourselves.
Im never sure where to direct my writing for this blog but then I remember that its mine so I can actually say whatever the fuck. Imagine if I went political one of these days...
Don’t worry I don’t give a fuck enough to start that conversation. Im also uneducated so I would never do that to myself. All I know is that if Trump gets elected I might just have to face my worst fear and get an IUD. The privilege that I exude being able to say that a (now commonly illegal) medical procedure is my biggest fear... this is why I don’t talk politics.
In other not so bright news: Podhalanka closed down. and I was too busy drinking everyday to make it there before they shut for good. Personally a regret almost bigger than forgetting to get my parents a wedding gift in 2022.
There are so many things I am DYING to say on here. But Im trying my best to be a big person and not air out every wrong doing that I am victim of. #growth. But I will say, if y'all keep this shit up I will start writing manifestos on some serial killer shit since y'all think I'm already there. might as well play the part. Im getting deja vu, i feel like i may have said that before... either way it needed to be said again.
This weekend I was assigned with the task of house and dog sitting for my family in the rural burbs. It will be me, alone, with the corn fields and trump flags. As dreadful as it will be to commute to and from the city to go to work- I am hopeful that the isolation will be refreshing.
Can I tell yall a secret...
Im lowkey scared of being in the big empty house alone. and its a ranch house.... no upstairs to hide from the boogyman. with one dog who is scared of the sounds that come out of the TV and the other who is paralyzed from the waist down.
It doesn’t help that the next door neighbor is a senile old man who stands in his yard (sometimes only in his tidy whiteys) and BURNS RANDOM SHIT ALL DAY. sometimes its leaves, but other times its plastic. and if you watch him pace around all mumbly long enough you’ll be able to see him whip it out and start pissing all over his own yard.
Anyway- I am hopeful that I can make my weekend of paralyzed dog toting and sniffing burning plastic productive- if not financially or physically but emotionally. Maybe it will heal my evil, dark and scariness.
Maybe I will get really into cooking and baking with newfound access to a dishwasher and consume some fall media. or smoke a fuck ton of the homegrown pack and the tell the dogs that they are going to mormon hell since they cant be baptized.
ok
I hope everyone has a wonderful fall season. I hope to speak to yall soon but if not I will tweaking and I will see yall for the new year.
With Love FAME
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