On this episode of disgusting claims made against me by the general populous of Instagram
My favorite thing about this year's edition of cancelation:
CALLS on the phone asking me if I kill animals.
At this point, I fucking wish I was killing this shit so all these cunts could at least be correct while they harass me online calling me Jeffrey Dahmer. BRUH
Last I checked I don't rape or kill but anyway---
Just cause I grew up in Wisconsin sometimes does not mean I was learning my animal gutting ways there. Matter-a-fact I learned it in Chicagoland you sick fucks.
To the MF that called me a bastard- you’re right, good job on the guess, you were spot on.
No one is ready to have the conversation I'm starting and that’s okay, so instead I will use this platform for a story-time.
When I was 7 years old, I collected carnival fish. My favorite thing to do while growing up in Wisconsin was going to as many carnivals as possible and using every one of my family members to win as many fish as we could.
I would then rely on my father to take care of these fish as if they were his children and not factory-farmed victims of capitalism in the form of cotton candy and Ferris wheels.
My father became very dedicated to keeping these fish alive as long as possible for the sake of breaking away from the doom these fish typically face 2-3 days or weeks after their conception from the huts of fried butter and children that leave a trail of stickiness everywhere they go.
These fish not only lived for multiple years but grew insanely large. Some of them were the really awesome cartoony ones that had eyes that bulged out of their heads…. can you tell I fucking loved these fish…
One day in December I got a call from my father after school
“Hey, Soph I have really bad news. One of the carnival fish was floating in the tank this morning”
“That’s okay… could you freeze it for me for next weekend”
“I'm sorry I know how much you loved the fish we can get you another one next summer”
“No it's alright can you please put it in the freezer though”
“That’s fucking disgusting no it will get our food dirty”
“Not if you wrap it in a billion plastic bags” (something my scientist mother had taught me)
“Um”
2 weeks later I am on the kitchen counter dissecting my deceased pet and my stepmother walks in
GAGS HER FUCKING BRAINS OUT
Then runs out of the kitchen yelling for my father to make sure I didn’t completely lose my 7-year-old marbles
I continued to remove all of its organs one by one until only the bulgy eyeballs were left(best for last)
Once all the bits and pieces of my beloved fish were divorced across paper towels and ziplock bags I decided I was not done until I saw the insides of its organs too.
MIND YOU I'M USING KITCHEN KNIVES AND UTENSILS
Until my stepmom came back in with my father who saw me as elbow-deep as you can be in a 4-inch carnival goldfish. They decided I had taken it too far, started getting too creeped out, and took my splay of guts and skin and threw it away;(
Needless to say, this was just the beginning of my awesomeness- I hope this paints the picture for all the cunts on the internet who realllllllly want me to shut up... maybe you'll get it one day
All I can say at this point is to respectfully get off my page or hop on my wave cause it's awesome over here. It feels like the Wisconsin Dell's tidal pool, it's quite fun. There are margs and floats that look like goldfish and dead animals everywhere it's cooked and perfect
ANYWAY
If god's will prevails, everyone can appreciate my little story time and hope that we all know each other better now
WITH LOVE, SHAKE ASS, KILL FAST
💋
FAME
