Monday, July 13, 2026

Im sweating a lot but its okay because life is beautiful if you want it to be


Its been a year since I felt sweat drip off my body for the first time, and now its happening again. I'm nearing a fear of early onset menopause. This is not who I am. This is not a reality that I claim. Yet here I am. But its okay. Worse things have happened in the world and I know that my lack of sweating all these years was a blessing I didnt really know I had. I still dont sweat from my face so its okay, Im still blessed. The universe loves me and joy will find me.

Ive been getting fuzzies in my vision since wearing fresh contacts and Im left to wonder what type of literal trash has fused itself to my eyeball. Its okay though cause at least I can see. Blessed.

Spent a week and a half at the Down on the Farm Iron Pour in Decorah IA. I have talked about the farm before on here so I will spare my full nerding out about it all, but I had the greatest time. The people in this community never fail to show the most beautiful type of love to one another and it is truly so special. I didnt brush my hair for 10 days, but honestly I dont really brush my hair that much in real life anyway, so I guess thats not a good gauge of my time there. 

I truly adore being from the Midwest no matter how much it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin sometimes. I am constantly reminding myself how rare it is to be able to find communities like this. People who come together to do the most physically brutal work in the most brutal weather because they want to do it together. I hope I never stop continuing to find people like this, with or without iron casting.

Although I dont want to make it too sunshines and rainbows cause we are also just a bunch of dirty degenerates at the end of the day, but in the best most loving way that I could ever call myself and people I love degenerates.

Since coming back to Chicago I realize how I have the biggest evil love hate relationship with this place. This city is my most comfortable hell. One day that will change or I will leave for a long time. Today is not that day. 2026 is not that year. But one day it will come and I will tweak somewhere new.

After spending the past year listening to the same ten playlists Ive finally began finding new music again. Thank God I climbed out of whatever musical rut I was in because it was getting embarrassing. Although some of these songs are longtime favorites, this is what I have been listening to while driving to and from the farm.

The Ecstacy Once Told - The Dolly Rocker Movement

Will the Circle be Unbroken - Punch Brothers, Gillian Welch, Dave Rawlings

Jackson - Lucinda Williams

Fooled - Fat, Evil Children

Copper Kettle - Nora Brown, Stephanie Coleman

Come From The Inside - Mila Culpa

4th of July - Truman Sinclair

My Friend - Bill Callahan

Carry the Zero - Built to Spill

I-75( The Jesus Song) - Alison Lewis (shoutout Danny K)

Remember Me If I Forget - Charlie Parr


with love, 

FAME 

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Im sweating a lot but its okay because life is beautiful if you want it to be

Its been a year since I felt sweat drip off my body for the first time, and now its happening again. I'm nearing a fear of early onset m...